Monthly Archives: January 2016

Back to Basics

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I’ve been trying to solve problems lately.  It doesn’t work, but my brain is in that groove, that habit.  Find a problem and fix it.  That’s how we make life better right?

I used to think so.  Now I notice if I focus on a problem too long, even with the intention of solving it, I make the problem bigger.  It’s a hell of thing to come to grips with.  The habits of a lifetime are taking me in a direction I don’t want to go.

Abraham-Hicks calls this behavior “wrestling a problem to the ground to kill it.”  Apparently, this is just an exercise program for our problems that actually makes them bigger and stronger.

I’ve gotten very clever in deceiving myself about my focus on problems.  I’ve been applying techniques I’ve learned from law of attraction teachers to try to force solutions to my problems.  Same result.  The problems get bigger and stronger and meaner.  It makes them cocky, to tell the truth.  I need another approach.

So I’ve gone back to focusing on the basics of law of attraction.  Like attracts like.  If I want to feel good, I need to focus on good feelings.  As Abraham says, “Everything we want is to feel good in the having of it.”  Time to go for the end goal.

How do I do that?  I’m learning more techniques.  I count the things that are going well in my life.  I do silly, trivial, fun things.  I pamper myself.  I revel in past successes.  I relive funny moments.  I dream about things I’d like to do in the future and what they will feel like.  I do whatever I can do to feel a little bit better.  If I can keep my focus on good feelings, momentum takes over and carries me further in the direction I want to go.

Apparently, Esther Hicks does this by focusing on words that represent what she wants to feel.  She’ll write the words “fun” or “clarity” over and over until they bring about those feelings.  Abraham says that focusing on anything for just 17 seconds, brings more thoughts/feelings/manifestations that match whatever we focus on.  The idea is to start the momentum in the direction we want to go and eventually, it will continue on its own.  I’m trying and I feel better already.

Big and Small

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When I first learned about the law of attraction, I was in crisis.  I had gotten myself into a bad financial situation and I needed a miracle to get out of it.  At least that’s how it felt at the time.

Needing a miracle, I was suddenly open to the idea of miracles happening.  That’s what allowed me to consider that the law of attraction could be real.  The results promised sure sounded miraculous.  I’d always dismissed it as wishful thinking, but I needed some wishful thinking about then.

There were some miraculous things that happened.  As I opened to the possibility that I could get what I needed if I could learn to expect it, I got more of what I needed.

One night I got very excited about the idea of financial success.  I’d been reading about the law of attraction and I got to a place where I really believed it could solve my financial problems and go on to bring me everything I wanted.  I was giddy with the thought and belief of it.  I could barely sleep that night because I was so excited.

At the time, I had an Etsy shop, online, where I sold quilted accessories I’d made.  I was progressing slowly.  At that point I was making 2 or 3 sales a month.  The next morning I woke up to 3 sales I had made overnight and I knew that my excitement and confidence had drawn in those sales.

It’s been a few years now that I’ve been studying the law of attraction and how to use it to make my life better.  My life is better.  My financial situation is better.  My work life is better.  I had a dramatically easy change in diet that allowed me to lose 25 pounds without trying.

Life is better, but it’s gotten boring. I’ve felt stalled and depressed. I’ve found myself resenting the need to get happy. I finally figured out why. I’ve been thinking small. I’ve fallen back into habits of reasoning out what I think I can accomplish instead of dreaming about what I’d like to accomplish. I’ve gotten reasonable and it’s killing me.

Abraham-Hicks talks about this in some of the tapes on youtube. She warns of people trying to avoid the pain of not having their dreams by avoiding dreaming. It doesn’t work. I’ve felt like I’m in one of those commercials for anti-depressants where the commercial shows the depressed people walking around in a gray haze, huddling in oversized sweaters.

Barbara Sher refers to this issue in her book on goal-setting, Wishcraft.  This book was first published in 1979 and it’s fabulous.  The first part of the book gives exercises for identifying our most cherished dreams and the second half of the book gives instructions for making those dreams happen.  She says that the practical instructions in the second half of the book won’t really work “unless you bring your highest hopes and deepest dreams to it.”  I guess that’s true for creating using the law of attraction too.

So now I’m back to dreaming.  I’m like the patients in the anti-depressant commercials after they’ve had their meds.  I’m living in color.  I’m frolicking on the beach with my dog and my loving family.  I’m smiling serenely at my successful art opening.  I’m speaking before the UN.  Okay, maybe those aren’t my dreams, but mine are just as much fun.  I’ll tell you about them when they get here.

(Photo courtesy of Debi Barton Haverly, @debihaverly)

Health Lesson

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I had an interesting December.  I was more organized for the holidays than I’ve ever been.  Things were looking good and then it was like I ran into a storm of resistance.  I was worried.  I was overwhelmed.  I was in a funk.

I tried to get out of my funk, but wasn’t very successful.  It was a perfect storm of too tired, too much bad food, too little self-care, and too much worry. All this resulted in some ill health and that’s where it gets interesting.

Aside from some virus-y symptoms, I had some problems with my teeth.  I’ve never had good teeth and gums and my fear around dental problems makes it the perfect reflection of stress in my life.

So I had a toothache.  In recent years, I’ve used some home remedies to try to avoid the expense and discomfort of dentistry.  I have a new dentist now, but my reluctance continues.  I put the natural methods into place and it helped quite a bit, but did not totally get rid of the discomfort.

One night I thought “I wish I could just get some anti-biotics for my teeth.”  Lo and behold, a day and a half later, I woke up with a swollen jaw, went to the doctor, and got some anti-biotics.  Hmmmm.

The antibiotics quickly brought down the swelling.  My doctor was pretty scared about the swelling, but I knew I created it totally out of resistance.  It didn’t come with any pain. Unfortunately, the resistance continued and peaked.

Christmas Eve I worked at my job, from 2pm until 3am, eating all kinds of junk food, feeling exhausted, depressed and generally not taking care of myself.  I was halfway through the antibiotics on Christmas morning when I was getting ready for work.

As I forced my tired, stressed body through the motions of getting dressed, I felt my jaw swelling.  I ran to the bathroom mirror and saw that the swelling in my jaw was, indeed, coming back.

I was clear that my jaw was reflecting my stressed state, so I took some time to relax and meditate.  The swelling went down again.  Whew!

I ran around, getting ready for work, and my jaw swelled again.  At this point, I gave in, called in sick to work, and spent the day resting.  Apparently, antibiotics don’t work as well if you exhaust yourself and eat crap.  I spent the rest of the weekend relaxing and the swelling didn’t come back.

I’m feeling much better now and have learned a valuable lesson.  I listened to some Abraham-Hicks recordings and really heard when she said that physical illness is a manifestation of resistance.  She said that without resistance, the cells of our bodies would heal themselves.  When I relaxed, the resistance subsided and my jaw fixed itself.

My teeth still have some soreness here and there.  While I wait for my new dental insurance to kick in, I’m experimenting with my teeth.  When I feel a twinge in a tooth, I relax.  Sometimes I shift my focus to the teeth that feel fine.  Both actions help and the pain goes away.  I don’t entirely trust this new method of dental management, but I figure if I’m in a good space mentally, I’ll know if I need more action.  Meanwhile, I have a built-in stress meter. It’s good to relax.