Monthly Archives: February 2016

My New Mantra

zen-178992_1280

As a recovering negative thinker, I’m always looking for ways to change my perspective.  I know that my habits of thinking are just that – habits, although some are quite entrenched.

One habit that annoys me is that I anticipate negative interactions with others.  I know it’s a practiced belief that keeps me thinking that if I can see danger coming, I can deal with it.  Therefore, I must always look for danger.

Now that I understand how law of attraction works, I see that this looking for danger actually creates it.  Bummer.  I’ve been creating the exact opposite of what I’ve wanted to create.

This isn’t just theory for me anymore.  I’ve been paying attention and it is really how my world works.  For example, I may be concerned that a co-worker will be cranky and I may try to figure out how to avoid her crankiness.  If I think about all the different ways she may express her crankiness and plan out how I’m going to deal with each and every scenario I can imagine, I’m practically guaranteeing a conflict with this co-worker in some new way that will totally take me by surprise.

However, if I concentrate on imagining this co-worker and I getting along, I will create that situation too.  She’ll be in a good mood or I’ll be in a good mood or we won’t see much of each other or she’ll be on vacation.  It’s interesting to see that when I soothe negative anticipation, the situation I dreaded, often doesn’t even happen.  The meeting was cancelled.  Someone calls out sick. The good feeling will prevail and the details of the situation will morph to accommodate that good feeling.

I know all this, yet the habit of looking for danger persists.  It’s a very old habit.  I was thinking about this in the shower the other day and I got an insight about how I could start countering this old habit.  My new mantra for anticipating unpleasantness?  “I’m making that up.”

It’s undeniably true.  When I’m visualizing negative future outcomes, it’s definitely something I’m constructing with my thought.  The thought is totally my creation and the reality will totally be my creation if I don’t move my focus elsewhere.

I love the childishness of my new mantra.  I’m like a kid in a playground calling out herself, but not in a mean way.  I’m not bullying myself.  It’s just a reality check.  Nothing that I’m imagining has happened yet, so clearly, I’m making it up.

When I expect negative experiences, I believe I’m making accurate guesses based on past experience.  There are some flaws in that train of thought.  First of all, it assumes the past will constantly repeat itself.  That’s not true.  Eventually, everything changes.  In the short term, my attention and expectation are what encourages my past to repeat itself in ways I’d rather it didn’t.

So, next time I imagine something bad happening, I will remind myself that I’m making that up.  Next time I’m afraid, I will acknowledge that I’m making up the reason for the fear.  And when I anticipate with joy, I will also acknowledge that I’m making this up.  I’m creating when I’m feeling hopeful.  I’m creating when I feel happy.  When I think of all the wonderful experiences I want to have in the future, I’m making this up.  Or put more simply, “I’m making this.”

How To Succeed In Business?

mountain-goats-1156056_1280

I was watching some videos that advertised an online business training program.  This particular training has an excellent reputation.  It seems that every successful business that I encounter online, was started by someone who went through this program.  The program is only open for enrollment once per year. Once again, I watched the video training that advertised this program and thought “Yes, this is what I need to have a successful online business!”

I found myself scheming about how to beg, borrow or steal the money to take this training.  I started pacing and getting all hyped up and anxious.  I started questioning my commitment to my writing career.  I was starting to browbeat myself about not committing enough time to writing and business and thinking about writing and thinking about business, when I realized something about the videos I’d watched.  There was a big emphasis on working hard.

Cue the sirens and flashing neon sign. “Danger! Danger!”  I don’t need to start mounting up debt, but the most dangerous idea I can have is that I’m going to make myself work hard to accomplish something.

By hard work I mean work that I have to push myself to do.  Work that is not inspired.  Work that takes a huge effort because I’m not listening to myself.  Instead, I’m pushing myself beyond my limits in an effort to follow a path that someone else has laid out.  I’ve been down that road about a million times and it never takes me where I want to go. I need an easy path to my dreams.

Learning about law of attraction has saved me.  I don’t want to work hard anymore. I finally have alternatives to the “flog myself into submission” school of accomplishment.  I think of it as cultivating inspiration.  I’m learning to deliberately start positive momentum in the direction I want to go and then feed that momentum.

I believe I’ve now got the tools to accomplish anything, but the tools are still awkward and unwieldy in my hands.  I pick them up and drop them.  I use them backwards.  I feel like I’m in school again.  I haven’t mastered my subject but everything I learn makes me see the world differently.  It’s exciting. Again and again, I go back to cultivating gratitude, relaxing, finding more hopeful thoughts.

The video training I watched was inspiring.  The trainer encouraged us to follow our dreams and that is a message I totally agree with.  In fact, my goal is to become an expert dreamer.  I want to dream and dream and dream more, until the dream becomes so real that it sweeps me up in its wake and I can’t help but follow.  That’s law of attraction.  That’s momentum.  That’s inspiration.