The topic of the week is self-love. It seems to be coming up everywhere I turn. I recently re-read Anita Moorjani’s memoir, Dying to Be Me. She writes about becoming very sick with cancer, having a dramatic near death experience, then rapidly healing. She also writes about her early life and the fears she developed that had her focusing on pleasing others rather than caring for herself. She came out of her near death experience with total love and acceptance of herself and a determination to live her life on her own terms, fearlessly. It’s all very inspiring.
Her near death experience struck a chord with me. She talked about feeling total love and being connected to everyone and everything. When I read or hear about people experiencing that total love and connection, it always sounds familiar to me. On some level, I remember that feeling. Her description of it gave me a little experience of it again.
This weekend I was talking about self-acceptance and self-love, with an old friend. We’ve both healed a lot from childhood trauma. Our lives have improved tremendously, yet we still have trouble showing genuine affection and caring for ourselves.
Of course, law of attraction sheds some light on this. We each developed habits of denying our own needs and wants in an effort to be invisible and avoid abuse. Law of attraction makes sure those habits grow and become more firmly entrenched if we don’t do anything to change course. The strong vibrations we have of seeing ourselves as not valuable, interferes with whatever hopes we have for our lives.
The good news is that we can change these habits of thought and behavior. We just have to be conscious and deliberate in starting new habits.
This past Sunday, I made a concerted effort to be nice to myself. I wanted to get some writing done, but wasn’t feeling like I had anything to say. I was feeling frustrated and pessimistic. So I gave up writing for the day and spent the time being nice to myself. I listened, inside myself, for what would feel good. I gave myself treats. I took off the pressure and only did what I wanted to do.
Gradually, I felt better. From a law of attraction perspective, when I’m nice to myself, I feel good, then the universe brings me more to feel good about. Simple.
In this case, it brought me an answer about why I was having trouble writing. I’d been telling myself that it was hard. I’d been telling myself that I wasn’t spending enough time on it. I was pressuring myself to be more productive. No wonder I didn’t feel inspired.
After a day of self-care, I was inspired to the simple solution of telling myself that writing is easy. And that’s the truth. Sometimes, it’s easy. Sometimes, the words just flow. Sometimes, I know exactly what I want to say and how to say it. When I get new insights from writing and find just the right words to express those insights, there’s no better feeling.
My day of self-care brought me back to another truth. Pleasure in life is in the little moments of listening to myself, in the moment, and giving myself what I want. It could be a walk in the woods, a lunch date with a friend, or cleaning the bathroom. The important thing for me is to listen to myself and trust that what I want is what I should do.